Opinion: Kashmir is slipping under the tight grip of domestic violence

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Kashmir is slipping under the tight grip of domestic violence

The youth of Kashmir writes about their views on the harsh realities faced by victims of domestic violence, and how to tackle this growing scoial monster….

Reported by Team RK

 “Spouse is someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you had stayed single”, says Sadaf Rouf,

I am just in my teenage and i have seen domestic violation everywhere; in my neighborhood or in my school ( my friend telling me about her and her mother’s violence story). Domestic violation is  the abuse of a  partner or of a children usally done by another partner or by his family. It can be physically, mentally, emotionally or sexually. Its usually done on wife for  dowry, giving birth to a girl child, being black in colour or having background of lower caste. India is a democratic country having all equal rights to religion, caste n also for gender but still some people don’t get this thing in their minds.I have been hearing to my friend always telling me about her violence  because of having black beauty. She and her mother has been torched so much just because of their colour Oh Come-on and do you  know what she always used to end that conversation by saying, “I would like to die rather than getting married”. This is what domestic violence is putting impact on coming era. I have seen people beating thier wives not only infront of their children and family but also infront of neighbours.I want to tell all the females being under this violence to stand up for  not themselves only  but for their children and coming generation also. Start building your mental stamina to get ready to fight against it. Don’t think about society, think about yourself and your children. There have been many self defence classes, come and join them. There are so many opportunities by which u can fullfill your needs but please don’t let the way its going on, take strict action and don’t ruin your life…

The writer can be reached on sadafrouf8@gmail.com

Adnan Fareed, a writer and social worker from Srinagar writes, “Domestic violence, or family violence, is violent, abusive or intimidating behaviour in a relationship. There are many types of domestic violence, including emotional, sexual, social, financial, spiritual and physical abuse.If you’re dealing with domestic violence, there are a number of organisations that can offer you help and support.This can help if:* you’re in an abusive relationship* you don’t know what to do about your abusive relationship* you don’t know where to go to get help.
What is domestic violence?For violence to be ‘domestic’, it doesn’t have to occur within your home, only within a relationship (with a family member or an intimate partner). It occurs when someone close to you has power and control over you. This control or abuse can be expressed in different ways.Emotional abuseEmotional abuse often goes unrecognised, but it can be very hurtful. Someone who is emotionally abusive towards you wants to chip away at your feelings of self-worth and independence. Sexual abuseThe term ‘sexual abuse’ covers rape, indecent assault and a wide range of other unwanted sexual behaviours used by offenders as a way to control their victims. Social abuseSocial domestic violence occurs when someone insults or humiliates you in front of other people, keeps you isolated from family and friends, or controls what you do and where you go.Financial abuseIf someone close to you controls your finances and access to money, and keeps you financially dependent on them so that you always have to ask them for money, this is a form of domestic violence.Spiritual abuse, Spiritual domestic violence involves preventing you from having your own opinions about religion, cultural beliefs and values. It may also involve causing you to doubt your thoughts on spirituality in order to make you feel powerless. Attempting to cause shame is a large part of spiritual abuse, as is preventing people from practicing their religious or cultural beliefs.Physical abuse if you are in a relationship where you are being hurt or threatened, it’s important to know that you don’t have to stay and you don’t have to deal with it on your own.

Adnan can be reached on adnanbhat8@gmail.com

Another social worker Snober Sufi, who runs the Srinagar based self-help NGO JK Unity, writes, “

Firstly, we should raise our voice against domestic violence. it is not acceptable at all not even in Islam
A lady visited our NGO some time back she was in a bad shape upon asking she narrated her ordeal
As she married a guy of her choice in the year of 2011.Her parents were supportive of her decision but her in-laws were against this decision after marriage her in-laws made life of couple miserable. This went to the extent that couple was made to leave the house and they shifted to girl’s parents house and after passing the few years the couple had two sons. Misfortune followed and her husband died in 2014 .
Her in laws especially her two sister in-laws fraudulently transferred all the property in their name
And her in-laws are moving freely in society and no one ever asked them about the rights of the lady and about her two sons
This is the society we live in and this is the society we have become
Time has come to think about this and many more such cases who have no one to talk about their rights “.