By Dr.Arif Maghribi Khan, Kashmir
We all are caught in a mad race. We keep on postponing our happiness and satisfaction.
First doctors of my age thought I will be happy when I pass 10th grade, then twelfth grade, then clearing entrance, then internship, then MBBS-MD, then job, then PSC confirmation, then marriage, then children, then new house, new cars – it’s a chain which never ends.
Let’s live in present moment and enjoy it. Let us be kind to all. Our passion for our job whether doctors, teachers or clerks job should reflect in kindness and compassion and not bitterness towards others.
I end with famous saying of Lao Tzu:“If you are depressed you are living in the past.If you are anxious you are living in the future.If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
Apart from worrying about future, One of the biggest forms of stress in Anger.Who does not get angry nowadays? Everybody does at some point of time.
The problem starts when #anger become a daily habit and interferes with daily life of a person or his family. During last 25 years the tolerance level of people in Kashmir particularly has touched a all time low, examples being daily street fights between shopkeepers and consumers, children in schools and colleges quarreling over petty issues or squabbles between car drivers. Not to forget the fights between husband and wife that not only affects them but has very severe psychological effect on the children. Here is a simple chart that can help us to cut down on our anger bursts, coupled with meditation like deep breathing. Keep a daily chart for ten days for the questions below, the answers to which will help you manage emotions of anger, irritation, frustration, etc. more effectively. Review your progress at the end of each day and then at the end of one week. Having made your observations, make improvements for the next week. Keeping this chart for a month, will help you manage and overcome your anger much better.
SEVEN GOLDEN QUESTIONS
1. During which event today did you get #angry or irritated?
2. What were your thoughts at that time?
3. Which negative thought contributed to your stress the most?
4. What positive thoughts helped you to regain your calmness and composure?
5. How long did it take to regain your calmness?
6. Why did it take so long to regain your peace?
7. What would you do differently and more appropriately if the same scene happened tomorrow?
Your answers will give you answers, and remember these questions have no side effects.